


No Holding Back

by Destiel_Cockles



Series: Destiel Firsts [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Beach Sex, Destiel - Freeform, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Hurt Dean Winchester, Kinks, Love Confessions, M/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Public Sex, Sexual Content, Smut, Temporary Amnesia, dean/cas - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-09-17
Packaged: 2018-02-08 19:58:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1954296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiel_Cockles/pseuds/Destiel_Cockles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dean gets injured on a hunt he starts telling Sam why he loves Cas, not realizing no one actually knows he is in love with Cas because when he hit his head he got a slight case of amnesia. Sam calls Cas so he can heal Dean and Cas is surprised when Dean admits he loves him. Cas takes Dean to a place he always wanted to have sex with him, and they finally have sex after wanting it for years.</p><p>Story of how Dean and Cas finally get together, and all of the hot crazy sex they have. Smut but a plot, I will be adding more chapters soon.</p><p> </p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You know I love you...right?

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like it =)

It all started with a job that didn't go so well. Sam and Dean had been hunting a pack of werewolves. They just killed the alpha and two others the night before. They were positive there was only one left. Sam had just fired his last bullet into the heart and was getting ready to drag the body so they could burn it in the woods. Dean heard it before he saw it. Sam had his back turned and Dean was a few feet behind him when he heard a snarl. Suddenly another werewolf appeared out of nowhere and was lunging right for his brother. Of course Dean was more concerned about the safety of his brother than anything else, so he didn't do the smart thing, which would have been to reach behind him and pull his gun out of the waistband of his jeans. The second he saw the werewolf lunge for his brother he dove and tackled Sam, knocking him clean across the open field and out of the path of the wolf. Dean hit the ground hard, and his head slammed even harder into a rock. He woke up when he felt searing pain rip across his back then heard several loud gunshots. Dean's gun had landed a few feet away and Sam was able to get it just in time to shoot and kill the werewolf before it killed Dean, but not before it tore a deep gash down Dean's back.

Sam fired one last bullet to be sure there would be no surprises and dropped down to check on his brother. Dean's eyes were closed but he was babbling incoherently. 

"Dean! _Shit_. Dean, wake up. Stay with me man, you hit your head really fucking hard."

Sam shook him, Dean winced and opened his eyes. His eyes were unfocused but he didn't seem to notice that he was bleeding profusely from the large gash on his back. Sam figured he must be in shock. He had to stop the bleeding before he did anything but he also had to keep Dean awake because of the concussion. He put his arms around him to try to pick him up when Dean's eyes flew open.

"C-Cas?" Dean whispered. He squinted up at Sam then passed out.

Sam figured Dean was trying to tell him to just call for Cas to help. He had no idea that Dean was so delirious he was babbling on because he wanted Cas there for a whole different reason, and when he hit his head he had triggered something in his brain. He didn't have full blown amnesia, he just forgot one thing, that no one knew he was actually in love with Castiel.

Sam shook Dean again, his eyes fluttered open so Sam kept talking to him. "Dean. I'm gonna need to stop that bleeding. If I can't we'll call Cas then, OK?"

Sam noticed Dean's eyes drooping he had to get him to stay awake. He heard Dean muttering something so he just absently began asking Dean questions while he looked for something to stop the bleeding with.

Sam figured Dean would want to get drunk after this so he asked him if he wanted to go to a bar or something later.

Dean shook his head, "Nah...I-I used to just go to pick up girls and get a little ass but now...shit. I like, want to be with Cas so I guess I shouldn't."

Sam paused, not sure he had heard his brother right. Dean must have hit his head pretty damn bad to be running his mouth about his feelings for Cas. Sam was no idiot he had known since the first day he met Castiel and saw the way his brother was looking at him. Sam wanted to keep Dean awake but he figured since Dean always got a good laugh at his brother's expense that he would too. 

"So Dean...what is it you like about Cas?" Sam bit his lip, he wasn't sure he wanted to hear what Dean's answer would be.

"Shit where do I begin? Well, of course there's those piercing blue eyes. Fuckers eat right through me, get me all caught up in staring at 'em til I don't remember what the fuck I was doing. The way his fucking voice sends a chill up my spine. _Fuck_. Deep ass voice. Sounds like pure sex. Makes me hard just thinking about it."

Sam was trying not to laugh and puke at the same time. He had to keep letting Dean talk, this was just too great.

"Ever notice how he scrunches his eyebrows up in the hottest fucking way? He never knows what the hell I'm talking about half the time. I do it on purpose, throwing references out that he'd never understand so he'll tilt his head and do that thing with his eyebrows. I love making him blush. He's kinda like you Sammy. Both of you act like I'm some crazy drunk asshole with a filthy mouth. Well, I guess I am. Anyway back to what I like about Cas. Let's see... _fuck!_ That hair. All sexed up looking. Speaking of sex I think about his lips stretched around my-"

"OK Dean that's enough. Listen, I think something's wrong."

Dean gave him an odd look. "Ya think? I'm fucking bleeding and...and where the hell is Cas at? Probably doing angel stuff. Whatever the hell that is. Did you even-"

Dean's eyes rolled back and his body went limp. Sam swore under his breath and tightened his grip on his brother. He figured it was time to call Cas since Dean was floating in and out of consciousness, but he needed to stop the bleeding before calling just in case Cas could not come right away. Sam unzipped the duffel bag they had luckily brought with that had the things they needed to get rid of the werewolves' bodies. He dug out a first aid kit and pulled up Dean's shirt. The cut was actually worse than he thought, so he figured he had better just get Cas there now. The cut was bad but not the worst he had seen his brother get but he was more worried about his head, especially since he kept passing out and also because he seemed to have some sort of amnesia.

"Dean... _DEAN_. Wake up. OK, I'm gonna call Cas."

Sam pulled his phone out but when he went to make the call he realized that it was dead. He took Dean's phone out of his pocket and called Cas while he applied pressure to the cut on Dean's back.

Dean opened his eyes. "Cas? The hell is he? I miss him."

Sam squinted down at Dean. "Huh?"

"Cas. I-I want to see him. My fucking angel." Dean saw Sam looking at him like he had lost it. "What? Come on Sammy you know I love him."

Sam opened his mouth then closed it, not even sure how to respond to what Dean had just said. Luckily he didn't have to because just then Sam heard Cas answer his phone.

 _"Hello Dean_."

"Uh, actually it's Sam. Look, I don't know if you're busy, but we kinda need your help. Well, Dean does. We were on this job and he's hurt pretty bad-"

Just then Sam heard a gust of wind and Cas was standing over them. Cas's eyes grew bigger when he saw Dean. He stooped down, and just as he was about to put his fingers on Dean to heal him Dean looked up and saw him. He sat up quick but winced when he felt the searing pain down his back. He grabbed Cas's arm and pulled him down until he knelt down next to him. Dean looked up at Cas and smiled, Cas gave him a small smile back but was concerned about Dean because he had several gashes and bruises forming across his face and arms. His shirt was saturated with blood and his head was bleeding. Dean didn't seem to care too much because when Cas got closer his smile widened. 

"Caaas. Damn, where the hell you been?" 

"You didn't call, Dean. I come when you call," Cas seemed to realize Sam was there and added, "...um of course when Sam does too."

Sam rolled his eyes, he was surprised they even knew he was there. Sam knew Cas would come if he really needed him, but he had barely gotten out that Dean was hurt and in an instant Cas had swooped in. Sam wasn't stupid, he knew the two were in love but for some reason they insisted on pretending they weren't while everyone around them suffered the constant eye-sex and sexual tension so thick it choked you to be within a mile of them. He couldn't help but wonder why Dean seemed fine from the head injury except for the fact that he had blurted out that he loved Cas and also seemed uncharacteristically willing to share his feelings about Cas. 

"I-I always want you around. I love being with you."

Cas scrunched his eyebrows up and looked up at Sam. "Did he hit his head?"

Sam laughed, "Uh, actually yeah. But he's bleeding pretty bad so maybe you could..."

Cas touched Dean's forehead and the large gash and cuts on his head and arms were instantly healed. 

"So his head's ok too? I mean besides the fact that he's an idiot?"

Dean sat up, perfectly fine. "Fuck you Sammy. You're the idiot that almost got killed. I saved your ass."

Cas was staring at Dean but answered Sam, "Yes, any physical problems are healed."

"What about mental ones?" Sam asked laughing.

"Angels cannot interfere with a human's mental capacity, or their emotions."

Dean stood up and pulled his torn, bloody shirt off. He pulled the keys out of his pocket and tossed them at Sam. Sam eyed him suspiciously. "Wow, you must have hit your head pretty damn hard to let me drive."

Dean shrugged. "Figured I'd hitch a ride with this stud right here. That cool Cas? Transport us somewhere we can be alone?"

Sam bit down on his lip to stop the laughter that almost erupted out when he saw the overwhelmed look on Cas's face.

Cas was staring at Dean, when he took his shirt off, Cas felt heat coursing through his body, he felt every drop of blood start flowing to his quickly hardening cock and his heart was racing. He could not take his eyes off of Dean's perfectly chiseled chest and abs. He wanted Dean so bad his cock was throbbing.

"Um whatever, that would by my cue to leave. Have fun you two," Sam said as he chuckled and walked off to burn the bodies then quickly get as far away from Dean and Cas as he could get. 

Cas's eyes were large and his mouth was hanging open. Dean walked up to him grinning, he knew Cas felt the same way because of the way he treated him so differently than he did his brother.

"You are OK with that, aren't you? I mean I thought you wanted..."

Dean's voice trailed off. He couldn't remember if he and Castiel had actually done anything before. It was weird. He knew who he was, who Sam and Cas were. He knew he loved Cas, but he couldn't remember if all of the images in his mind of him and Cas together had actually happened, or if they were times he had been fantasizing about being with Cas. He was pretty sure Cas knew he was attracted to him, maybe he did not know he loved him but he had to know he at least liked him. All of those stares had been real but he did not know if anything else was or if he had just wished they were. He was sure Cas knew. _Right?_

Cas put his finger on Dean's head and suddenly they were on a beach. Dean looked around. "Where the hell are we?"

"I took you to where you wanted to go, this was the first thought that popped up in your head when you said you wanted to go somewhere."

"Oh." Dean smiled, he remembered thinking about this. "Yeah this one was pretty close to the top of our Fuckit list."

Cas scrunched his eyebrows. "Our...what?"

"You know, like a bucket list. But places I want to...fuck."

"Bucket list?"

"Ugh, that doesn't matter right now."

"Dean, are you OK?"

"Of course I'm OK. Are you....OK with this?"

"I've always wanted us to...what I mean is, are you sure you want this? Maybe Sam was right and you injured your head..."

"Why would you think that?"

"You never admitted to...you're saying things I never though you would say, and it doesn't seem to bother you to say them, especially in front of your brother."

"Sam knows I love you. I think. Well, he does now."

"You...you love me?"

Dean squinted. "You didn't know?"

Cas looked down, a slight smile spreading across his face. "I suspected, but you um...no, you never told me."

"Huh. Well I'm telling you now."

Cas tilted his head and looked up at Dean. "Dean, I've loved you since the day I gripped you tight and-"

Dean put his arms around Cas and crushed his lips to Cas's. Cas blinked in surprise then closed his eyes, moaning softly as Dean slid his tongue into his mouth and started kissing him with such intensity Cas was feeling dizzy. He leaned into Dean, he wrapped his arms around him and held him tight. The kiss got heated very quickly, Cas had never felt anything like it. His lungs started burning and his vision was getting fuzzy. Dean had one arm wrapped around Cas's waist and one hand was running though his hair. He was kissing Cas with so much passion, unlike he had ever kissed anyone before. He loved Cas, and although he could not remember why he had never told him he was glad he told him now because kissing him was the best feeling in the world. Dean knew there were so many things that would feel better, so he pulled back.

Cas was flustered, he had never in his entire existence felt what he was feeling right now. He felt a need for Dean so strong and the desire he had always had intensified. Cas was red and panting, trying to catch his breath.

Dean smirked. He pulled Cas in close and kissed him again. After kissing him for several minutes Dean pulled back and looked into Cas's eyes.  He ran his finger down his face and leaned in for one more kiss, letting his lips linger for a few seconds. Then he stepped back and undid his belt. Cas was watching him intently as Dean kicked his boots off and looked up. Dean leaned in and kissed Cas softly as slid his hand over his chest then pulled him tight against him as he deepening the kiss. Cas ran his hand down Dean's chest and moaned. Just as he was starting to get into the kiss, Dean pulled back.

"C'mon, let's go for a swim."

Cas tilted his head and scrunched his eyebrows together. Dean felt his cock throb, it was that thing he did that made him so damn horny. Dean realized Cas had probably never swam and the more he thought about it he did not want to swim. He wanted to have sex with Cas, and since there was nothing to lay down on the sand and he did not feel like getting sand everywhere inside both of them he figured it would be best to go in the water.

"Let me guess, you've never been swimming?"

Cas shook his head. Dean was always amazed at the things Cas had never made time in all those centuries to do.

"Well, I'm not planning on doing a whole lot of swimming. I just want to get you in the water."

"What are you going to do in the water?"

Dean smirked and looked up at Cas. "You."

 


	2. Sex on the Beach

Cas watched as Dean reached down and unbuttoned his jeans. He sucked in a breath as he pulled the zipper down. Cas felt his heart racing, pounding in his temples, his mouth was dry and he felt a fire starting in his crotch, his cock was pulsating as Dean slowly slid his jeans down then stepped out of them. Cas felt like he was going to pass out. Dean glanced up and grinned. Cas's eyes were staring into his. 

Cas's eyes traveled down Dean's amazing body. He stared at his perfectly sculpted chest and abs. His eyes went further down immediately froze on Dean's boxers, his fully erect cock was forming a huge bulge that Cas could not take his eyes off of. He wanted to touch Dean, kiss him and have sex with him but didn't know what to do and at that moment he was so enthralled with staring at Dean's perfect body he couldn't move. 

"You gonna go in the water fully clothed?"

Dean laughed softly, Cas's eyes were huge and he seemed to be stunned. It actually was turning Dean on even more to see him all worked up like this. Cas rarely showed emotion, he always had the 'Angel of the Lord' stone cold seriousness and seemed so powerful and fearless, but now he looked vulnerable and unsure, but most of all he looked horny. He looked as horny as Dean felt, and he loved it. It was so damn hot. 

"You'll go straight down to the bottom." Dean joked. Cas looked at him, tilting his head. Dean laughed, "At least take your damn shoes off."

Dean tried not to laugh harder when Cas pulled his shoes off then looked up at him as if for instructions on what to do next.

"Lose the coat."

Cas took a deep breath. He slowly pulled his trench coat off and tossed it on the ground near Dean's jeans. Dean smirked, Cas looked stunned, he was sweating and his eyes were huge. He looked like a horny wreck. A hot, sexy, horny wreck, and Dean loved it. He wanted to get Cas even more riled up, have him desperate and begging for it, then get him to make all kind of hot noises, hopefully have him cursing and screaming.

"Suit jacket too..."

Cas took a deep breath and shrugged out of the jacket. He went to untie his tie, but was startled when he felt Dean's hand press on his.

"Don't."

"I thought you wanted me to take off-"

"I wanna take the rest off," Dean said in a low voice.

Cas bit down on his lip, Dean's eyes looked beautiful. They always did, but his pupils were so big and it made them look even more amazing. Dean looked up and saw Cas staring at him. He slid his tongue over his lips, Cas's eyes flickered down to them then back up to his eyes. He squinted at Dean then looked down. He could tell Dean wanted him just as bad as he did, the bulge in his boxers was getting bigger every time he looked at Cas. Cas was so hard it physically hurt to think about what he wanted Dean to do to him.

Cas's eyes moved up Dean's body, his chest and abs were so perfect, he wanted to reach out and touch him. Cas's eyes went back down Dean's body. The head of Dean's cock was now poking out of the waistband of his boxers, Cas sucked in a breath. He wanted him so bad he could barely stand it. Dean stepped closer to Cas as gave him a kiss. His arm slid around his waist and he pulled him close, Cas could feel his erection tight against his. He moaned softly. They had gone from lustful stares to making out and now Dean was practically naked with his arms around him. Cas prayed Dean would have sex with him soon, he couldn't take waiting. He had wanted this since the moment he first laid eyes on Dean all those years earlier, wanted it with every fiber of his being. It took him a long time to realize what emotions were, he never felt any until he met Dean. Dean was the one and only thing that mattered to him, he was so in love with Dean, and everyday his love grew more and more. Cas had never wanted anything more than he wanted Dean right now. 

As they were making out Dean tightened his arm around Cas's waist as his other hand slid up his face and grabbed a handful of his hair. He kissed fiercely into his mouth, Cas groaned and closed his eyes, the feeling of Dean's lips on his and having Dean's strong muscular arms wrapped around him was the best feeling he had ever experienced.

Dean gripped Cas's hair tighter then let go, sliding his hand down his chest. He kissed him with more intensity, shifting back enough so he could push his boxers down. He stepped out of them, still kissing Cas hard and deep. He pulled back, Cas's chest was rising and falling quickly as Dean ran his hand down his chest then started undoing his tie.

Cas glanced down and felt heat coursing through his entire body, he felt the familiar twitch he always felt every time he looked at Dean. Dean's cock was huge, so long and thick, curling up against his stomach. Cas was dying to touch it, he wanted to suck on it and most of all he wanted to have sex with Dean. It was almost surreal because he never thought this day would come. Maybe he figured Dean would always be too stubborn, he always had a suspicion that Dean felt this way but he had been through so much hell in his life he didn't want to push it.

They both had wanted the other so much, but their friendship and being together was more important than anything. Cas knew it had broken Dean when he thought he was dead, and again when he tried but failed to get him out of Purgatory. Cas knew he had no choice to not let him stay at the bunker, and he knew Dean regretted it and blamed himself for everything that happened. He figured Dean knew how Cas felt all along, but was too afraid of losing him again, he knew if things started between them and anything else happened to him it would kill Dean, it would kill him to ever lose Dean again. But now that Dean had lost whatever was holding him back, Cas no longer cared. Dean seemed to have no reservations and he didn't hesitate at all. They only thing either of them felt was regret that they had not done this sooner. It had only been a few minutes since Dean admitted he loved him, but it had been the best minutes of his existence and it was worth any future heartache to experience this. Now that Dean had kissed him and held him, he had to have more.

Dean pulled Cas's tie off and leaned in to kiss him. He could not get enough of it, he could kiss him forever, the only thing he ever wanted to do besides kiss Cas was have sex with him. Dean was really trying to take it slow for him, normally he would have ripped his clothes off and been bending him over by now. He was surprised he had this much restraint, but he had a nagging and overwhelming desire to put Cas first and make it the best experience of his life. Sex with Cas wasn't going to be like sex Dean had before, it was no longer just about getting off. He loved Cas and everything about being with him was better than anything else in the world.

Dean started unbuttoning Cas's shirt, leaning down to kiss his chest as he undid each button. He ran his hand across the bulge in Cas's pants and stood up, pulling his shirt off. Dean looked up and saw Cas staring at his cock. He leaned in and sucked down on his neck, he could feel Cas's breathing hitch and his heart racing as he licked up his neck. 

Dean's teeth grazed Cas's ear, he whispered, "Don't be shy, you can touch me you know."

Dean went back to kissing Cas's neck, sucking down lightly as Cas tentatively put his hand on his hip. He felt Dean smile against his neck. Dean pulled Cas closer, Cas moaned when he felt Dean's bare chest against his. It felt so good, he put his other arm on Dean's back and pulled him closer.

"Want me to help you?"

Dean looked into Cas's eyes, he knew he wanted him just as bad as he did, he could tell he was horny as hell, not just because his cock was straining against his pants, but by the look in his eyes. He knew Cas was not used to any of this and had never experienced anything sexual, so he was really trying to slow it down, even though every ounce of him wanted to slam him down and fuck him and never ever stop. 

Cas nodded slightly so Dean reached down and put his hand over Cas's, pulling it over and wrapping it around his dick. Dean went back to kissing him as he tightened his fist over Cas's and moved his hand up and down, and started slowly thrusting his hips, moaning in to Cas's mouth.

Cas's heart was racing, his heartbeat pounding in his temples. He couldn't believe he had his hand on Dean's cock, he was so hard and it felt so warm and big. His breathing hitched as Dean let go of his hand and ran his hand down the fly of Cas's pants. Cas gasped and closed his eyes. He moaned as Dean's hand cupped tight over his erection. His brain still hadn't caught up that Dean was completely naked and making out with him, that he was actually touching him and kissing him, something he had always fantasized about for years. He still wasn't sure if this was really happening, but it was so much better than he could ever imagine so it had to be real. 

Cas snapped back to reality when Dean started undoing his belt. As Dean unzipped his pants, he felt Cas's grip tighten around his dick. Cas's hand stopped moving and he was squeezing Dean's cock. Dean kissed Cas's jaw, working his way to his neck.

"Relax," he whispered, smoothing his fingers through Cas's hair. Dean pulled back and pushed Cas's face up so he would look at him.

"Why're you so...tense?"

"I-I'm not."

"You kinda got my dick in a death grip." 

Cas blushed and loosened his fist. Dean kissed Cas's forehead and pressed his against it. He looked into his eyes. Cas's pupils were big, but his eyes were huge, sort of a deer in headlights look. 

"Moving too fast?"

Cas pulled back and Dean saw his eyebrows mash together, not sure what he meant. 

"I mean, if things are happening too fast for you, we can slow down. We don't have to have s-"

"No! I want to, Dean I...I never wanted anything more."

Dean smiled and kissed him. "Cas, just settle down. There's nothing to be nervous about."

"I've never-"

"Neither have I."

Cas scoffed.

"What?"

"You...you have sex all the time, Dean."

"Not...you know...not like  _this._ "

Cas wasn't sure if he meant on a beach, standing up, or with another man but he wasn't going to ask. He felt Dean's arm wrap around him and pull him closer. Dean was kissing him, he felt his tongue slide across his lips so he opened them. Dean's tongue was swirling around his mouth, his hand running down his chest while his other moved down his back. Cas closed his eyes as Dean deepened the kiss, his tongue ravaging around his mouth. Cas moaned and moved his fist up Dean's cock, pumping it quicker. Dean's hand slid down his back, his hand firmly grabbed Cas's ass.

Cas groaned, wrapping his arm around Dean and pulling him closer. Dean's hand was massaging his ass, pushing Cas even closer. Dean pushed his pants and boxers down. The kiss got more intense, Cas felt Dean's hand slide down his thigh, he picked it up and wrapped Cas's leg around his waist. Dean put his hand back over Cas's and pulled it off of his cock. Cas gasped as Dean shifted and he felt Dean's erection pressed tight against his. Dean rolled his hips, kissing Cas rougher, moving to his neck and sucking down.

"Cas...you have no idea how bad I want you...fuck, so damn bad."

Cas looked up into Dean's eyes, staring into them. Before today, Cas had never used his mind reading ability on Dean, he felt wrong doing it but when he saw Dean hurt he had to make sure his brain was functioning correctly. When he was scanning it he saw how much Dean wanted him, how much he thought about him and loved him and how Cas was one of the only things Dean loved, cared about or thought about. He knew that Dean loved him as much as he loved Dean.

"I do, and I feel the same way."

Dean gave him a half smile, he pressed his lips softly to Cas's and looked into his eyes then went in and kissed him softer than Cas was expecting. He planted several soft kisses on his face, his hands lightly caressing him as he slowly rocked into him. Dean's lips moved down his jaw and back to his lips. He kissed him heated and passionately. Cas groaned, it felt amazing, Dean's soft plump lips felt incredible against his. Dean shifted, he was holding him closer and slowly grinding into him. Cas understood that Dean wasn't the type to constantly say he loved him, but he knew that was his way of saying it, because Dean was more of a show you how I feel rather than tell you how I feel type of person. Dean pulled Cas closer and kissed him rougher, as he turned it up he ran his hands across Cas's back and lifted him until Cas got the hint and wrapped his other leg around his waist.

Dean always surprised Cas, and that day he surprised him more and more every second. Dean pulled back when Cas started gasping for air. He leaned in and pressed his forehead to Cas's, staring into his deep blue eyes. "I love you Cas."

"Dean..." Cas moaned, he felt so overwhelmed with emotions he had never experienced. He always felt things he had never felt before with Dean. Love, lust, happiness, and he never felt happier than he did in that moment. Cas leaned in and kissed him.

"I love you." Cas was about to kiss him again when he pulled back. "Will you...are we going to..."

Dean smirked. "Swim?"

Cas squinted his eyes at Dean. 

When Cas didn't answer Dean licked his lips and grinned. "I wanted to have sex, but if you'd rather swim..."

 _"No!_  " Cas looked panicked, Dean bit down on his lip to keep from laughing. Cas looked up at Dean, his eyes drifted down his body as he muttered, "I want you to..."

Dean bit his lip harder, his smile widening. He was enjoying this a little too much, but Cas always asked him tons of questions so he figured he'd have a little fun. 

"Yeah? Want me to do what?"

"You know."

"Do I?"

Cas looked at him, his eyebrows pushed together.  _"Dean."_

Dean grinned, Cas squinted his eyes at him. He wondered if he was trying to be adorable, he was very adorable, but Cas suspected that he was somehow turned on by this.

"Say it."

"Why? You know what I want."

Dean kissed Cas then pulled back and ran a finger down his face. "Wanna hear you say it. You know how many times I imagined you saying it..."

Cas figured it was probably about as many as he imagined Dean saying it. He sighed and muttered. "I want to...do it."

"Do what?"

Cas made an impatient noise, in a low voice that was entirely too sexy it almost made Dean come he muttered, "Sex."

Dean laughed and put Cas down. He held Cas's face and whispered, "You are so fucking hot. Damn Cas..." Dean kissed Cas and muttered against his lips, "Never wanted something so bad in my life. Not just sex, I want you."

"Want me to what?"

Dean pulled back and looked at Cas, wondering if he was being a smart ass since he had been one. He figured he wasn't, Cas rarely joked and he really was clueless about what Dean said most of the time. Dean was surprisingly not afraid to open up to Cas. He spent his entire life hiding his feelings from his brother and Cas. He didn't know why, it was easy to talk to Cas and he had nothing to hide. He figured whatever had changed when he hit his head changed his ability to hide his feelings too.

"I want you to be with me, for us to be together. You know what I mean, right?"

Cas nodded and pulled Dean into a kiss, moaning softly. "I've wanted you since...well I don't want to think about...you know. I have always wanted you Dean, I want to be with you forever."

Dean knew Cas was not going to bring up Hell if he didn't have to but it was true. Cas had wanted Dean since he rescued him from Hell. He didn't know what love was or that he even had the capacity to love anything but every day his love grew stronger and stronger. Dean changed him from being a servant of Heaven, an obedient solider that was like a robot with no feelings or emotions to leaving it all behind, becoming practically human, and in all of the centuries Cas had been alive, he never felt more alive or happier than when he was with Dean. The instant he laid a hand on him when Dean was in Hell Cas felt a change, and now Dean was the one and only thing that mattered to him, and he was overjoyed that Dean felt the same way.

Dean smiled, Cas looked nervous as Dean guided him into the water. "You really have never been..."

Dean paused, Cas might not have ever swam, but he suddenly remembered the Leviathans walking Cas into the water before they took over, leaving Cas without any memory of who he was...until Dean found him. Dean felt bad and hoped he wasn't thinking about that. It made him realize they had been through so much, the world always seemed to be against them, but no matter who or what tried to pull them apart they always ended up being back together. They were soulmates. There was nothing stronger than their bond and their love for each other. They had both helped each other through the worst times in each other's lives. He knew he would never have made it the past few years without Cas, and he was not going to waste anymore time. He wanted to spend the rest of his life being with him. He had to have sex, he could barely stand how bad be wanted him. He was insane with lust and the need to be with him. 

"Cas, Um...I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking that you probably don't want to go into the water and..."

Cas's head snapped up. He squinted his eyes and tilted his head. Dean felt his cock twitch, when he did that it always turned him on so damn much.

"Dean, I want to....I just never..."

A small wave came by and splashed Cas, he backed up and looked at Dean. Dean laughed, Cas seemed not to be thinking about it, hopefully he did not remember. He seemed more like a kitten afraid to get wet. It was actually pretty funny to Dean that an angel was actually hesitant to do anything, he wondered if he was more nervous about the water or what they were about to do.

Dean pulled Cas into the water, figuring it would take him forever to get in if he didn't, and he could not wait much longer. He walked until they were about waist deep. He stopped and pulled Cas close, kissing him.

Dean picked Cas up, he ran his hand down his thigh and wrapped Cas's leg around his waist. Cas brought his other leg up and looked down at Dean.

"Are you going to be able to..."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Of course I can, I'm a lot stronger than you think."

Cas's eyes flickered to Dean's biceps. They always looked so damn hot, Cas had always stared at Dean's sleeves, wishing he didn't hide under fifty layers of clothes. His biceps looked so damn hot when they were holding him and flexed. They looked even bigger. Cas reached out and wrapped his hand around the bulging muscle and moaned softly. He slid his hand up slowly, He ran it up Dean's neck and pulled his face to his, kissing his gorgeous lips, gasping as he felt Dean slide a finger over his ass. 

Dean pulled back, "Sure you want this, angel?"

Cas nodded vigorously and went in to kiss Dean. Dean turned his head and grinned.

"Wanna hear you say it."

"What do I say?"

Dean chuckled softly, Cas still had that serious demeanor and he kind of liked it when he was all confused, it made him seem less all powerful angel and more confused which always made him more hot and sexy.

"Just wanna hear that you want it...how much you want it. I love hearing what you want."

"Dean...I-I want you to..." Cas paused not sure what to say. He figured he would say it like Dean did. "I want you to fuck me, Dean."

Dean moaned and crushed his lips to Cas, thrusting his cock against his and teasing a finger over Cas's rim and barely sliding it inside. Cas gripped Dean's arms tight, Dean felt him tense up so he pulled back.

"Gotta relax, Cas. I would never hurt you, I'll go really slow until you tell me to go faster." Dean went in to kiss Cas then paused. "Tell me if you want me to stop."

"No! Don't stop."

Dean grinned and kissed his forehead where his eyebrows were pressed tightly together. "Then you gotta trust me."

"I always trust you Dean."

"Just relax, promise if you do it'll be fucking incredible."

Cas nodded and moved his hands off of Dean's biceps. He wrapped one arm around his neck and one around his back. Dean noticed that Cas usually got so into him kissing him he relaxed so Dean pulled his face down to his and kissed him for several minutes. Cas moaned as he felt Dean's arm tighten around him. He loved feeling his strong grip and his hands all over his body, he loved feeling his big thick cock pressed tight against his.

Cas started rocking into him, Dean smiled and kissed him harder, he slowly slid his finger over his rim. Cas gasped and pushed back, so Dean teased his finger in. He slowly worked it in, when Cas started pushing back on his finger he slid another one in. By the time Dean had three fingers in Cas he was the furthest thing from nervous, he was pushing down hard on Dean and splashing water around as he plunged down onto them. He got a lot less shy when he was horny and Dean loved it. Dean scissored his fingers over his prostate, Cas groaned and grabbed Dean's head, pulling him into a kiss. He rocked back hard on his fingers and slid his hand down Dean's chest. 

"Ohhh Dean..." Cas groaned.

"Told you. Feels incredible doesn't it? Want more?"

Cas nodded and moaned as Dean's fingers plunged deep inside of him. He teased his pinky in under his other fingers and pounded into him harder. Cas was really getting into it and Dean loved it. His eyes were slammed shut, he was bouncing on his fingers and making the hottest noises, it was the hottest damn thing Dean had ever seen.

"Shit Cas...fuck, you're fucking sexy. Could come just watching you ride my fingers. Can't wait to watch you ride my cock."

Cas's eyes flew open. "Dean...I want your big cock in me."

Dean moaned as Cas circled his fist around Dean's cock. Cas gasped and groaned as Dean's fingers pounded over his prostate. He pulled back from Dean, panting. He moaned Dean's name and pushed down harder.

"Damn Cas, so fucking hot...want me to fuck you now, or you like fucking yourself on my fingers?"

"Fuck me Dean...now."

Dean grinned and eased his fingers out. He looked at Cas and sucked in a breath. He looked so hot in the moonlight, his pupils were dilated, his hair was even more sexed up and his eyes were hooded. Cas tilted his head and looked at Dean. Dean was the most gorgeous thing Cas had ever laid eyes on, and he got even hotter when he was horny. Cas couldn't wait to see how hot he looked when they were having sex.

Cas ran his hand down Dean's face. "You're beautiful, Dean."

Dean kissed Cas and groaned, Cas's hand was pumping up his cock. Dean wrapped his hand around both of their cocks and thrust his hips a few times.

"Dean, ohhh...fu-" Cas groaned as he felt Dean lift him up.

Cas put his hands on his shoulders as Dean slid his cock over his rim, Cas started pushing down hard but Dean stopped him.

"Cas, slow down."

"But I want-"

"I do too, but I gotta work it in you."

Cas sighed impatiently as Dean circled his hips and tried thrusting in him.

 _"Fuck,_  so tight..."

"Is that...bad?"

"Fuck no, it's perfect, just gotta work you open."

"Mmm....damn. You're...so  _big_."

Dean grinned, he instantly thought of a million things he could say in response but decided not to.

Dean teased his dick over Cas's rim and barely into him. Cas was trying to push down on him but Dean had a firm grip on his hip. He finally worked him open enough and slid his cock into Cas, groaning.

"Oh shit Cas...fuck. So damn tight, feels so fucking good. Feel good Cas?"

Cas nodded, he felt pressure but it felt good. Dean thrust and he felt full, it felt incredible to have Dean inside of him, he wanted more. He pushed down and groaned as Dean slid further inside. He tightened his grip on Dean's shoulders and sunk down, holding his breath.

"You OK baby?"

"Mmm...ohhh...yes..." Cas gasped as Dean thrust in the rest of the way. "Ohhh Dean, so good."

"Want me to go slow?"

Cas shook his head and started pushing down as Dean thrust into him. Dean grinned and thrust into him harder. He loved how amazing it felt, he was so tight and perfect.

Dean had been wanting to do this for so long, since the first time all those years ago in the barn. He had never been so attracted to someone, and everyday the attraction grew, the need to be around him and the desire to actually be with Cas was stronger than anything. Dean had never been in love, never wanted to be with someone until he met Cas. Sex had always been rushed and he only did it to get off, hooking up with random girls that meant nothing to him. Lately he barely got off, and he had not even tried to hook up in the past few weeks. Dean had never gone that long with out sex, but the instant his lips touched Cas's, just a kiss was more satisfying than sex ever had been. He wanted it to be perfect for Cas, he cared more about making him climax than about himself, but as soon as he entered him, Dean was hit with so much pleasure he almost blacked out. It felt better than anything he had ever experienced. Feeling Cas's arms gripped tight around him, feeling Cas's lips on his and his hands on his body was even better.

Dean started thrusting hard into Cas, powerful hard thrusts. They both groaned as Dean bucked his hips and thrust hard and fast into him. He circled his hips, it was so incredible he didn't want to move, didn't want it to ever end. Dean pulled back and thrust in hard, pausing and pulling Cas close, buried his head into his neck and moaning.

 _"Fuck.._." Dean gasped, it felt so amazing he just held on to Cas for a few seconds. Cas shifted and looked at Dean. His eyes were closed, he was biting his lip hard.

"Dean?"

Dean opened his eyes and looked at Cas. He let out the breath he had been holding. "You OK?"

Cas nodded and pushed down, wanting Dean to thrust into him again. "Is it not...good for you?"

"Shit, it's...so fucking...I can't even describe how fucking good it is." Dean started thrusting again. He rocked his hips faster, Cas groaned and dug his nails into Dean's back, gasping as Dean pulled him up then slammed him back down so he would meet his thrust.

"Feel good baby?"

"Dean!" Cas gasped, "Uhh...it's...it's.." 

Cas buried his face into Dean's neck and moaned. Dean took that as a yes and started pumping in and out as hard as he could. Cas was panting, breathing fire into Dean's neck. Dean gasped as Cas started sucking down on his neck, a dark hickey was already blossoming on his skin. Dean felt Cas's teeth graze his neck, he ran his hand up his neck, grabbing a fistful of Cas's hair and pushing his head so he'd bite into him.

"Mmm shit...sink your teeth into me, I love it."

Cas lightly bit Dean's shoulder, Dean groaned and started sucking down on his neck. Cas moaned and bit down harder, Dean worked his way up Cas's neck, groaning when Cas moved to his nipple and flicked it with his tongue then grazed his teeth over it. When Dean started grunting and thrusting into him faster Cas bit down more. Dean threw his head back and moaned Cas's name. 

"Yeah...like that...harder, really bite hard."

Cas looked up at Dean, Dean looked down and grinned. "I'm serious...feels good as fuck."

Cas bit down on Dean's nipple hard, pulling back as he sank his teeth deeper into it. Dean gasped and jerked Cas's head up, kissing him hard. He kissed him as he muttered against his lips, "Fuck...so fucking good...the best...love you so damn much..."

Cas tightened his arms around Dean's neck and his legs around his waist as Dean started thrusting up into him harder. Cas felt him put his hands on his hips and pull him into each thrust. He slid his hand up Dean's neck and gripped his hair tight. Dean's eyes were staring into his, his teeth were biting his amazing lips so hard, and he was soaking wet from sweat and the water being splashed around. Cas groaned and pushed Dean's head toward his, crushing his lips against Dean's.

"Oh  _shit_  Cas..." Cas was rocking back and forth as Dean plunged deep inside. "So tight and...son of a  _bitch_  it's fucking amazing."

Cas started bucking hips harder as Dean thrust faster. Dean felt like he was losing his balance, Cas was pushing down so hard. Dean shifted, when he thrust into Cas again he slammed into his prostate. Cas threw his head back and yelled out Dean's name. Dean wrapped his fist around Cas's cock, gripping it tight and running his hand up and down in rhythm with his hips. He wanted Cas to scream, it was hot hearing him moan and say his name in his deep sexy voice. The more he got into it the sexier he sounded, his voice was like pure sex, Dean loved it and he wanted to hear him come apart. He couldn't wait to make him come, give him an amazing orgasm and make him climax so hard he screamed.

Dean felt Cas getting tighter, he was sweating out precome and moaning, gasping Dean's name. He had to be close, Dean was, he didn't want it to end but he knew this was the only thing he was ever going to want to do, now that he had it he could never get enough and he couldn't wait to do the one thing he had fantasied about most, bend him over and fuck him hard. He wanted to spend all night and the rest of his life doing nothing but this. He also wanted Cas to get more assertive, he wanted Cas to get rough and push him down on his bed and fuck him hard. He wanted to watch Cas ride him, and ride Cas's big dick. He thought about all the kinky things he wanted to do, tie him up, blow each other at the same time, and so much more. It occurred to him that Cas was an angel, he was so sturdy and never got tired. Dean never had to be careful, he could fuck into him as hard as he wanted and Cas was never going to get worn out. Dean tried not to think about it, if he did he would come just at the thought of all the amazing sex they were going to have, he could already feel an orgasm starting to build.

Dean tried slowing his thrusts, but he couldn't hold back. Years of lustful stares and longing to be with Cas had built up inside and now that he was finally having sex with him, it was like his body was taking over. He was meant to be with Cas and there was no holding back, he pounded into him hard and fast.

Cas was whimpering, Dean's dick was hitting his prostate over and over, it was pure ecstasy. He rolled his hips and pushed down harder. He felt his body shuddering, then Dean's arms got tighter around him. Dean's hand slowly slid up and down his back, caressing his shoulders down to his ass. He cupped his ass cheek in his hand and massaged it firmly, Cas groaned and leaned into Dean, they couldn't get any closer and Cas loved it. He relished the feeling of being in Dean's arms, tight against him. It was like they were made to be together, they fit perfectly and Dean knew every place to touch to make his body feel amazing. He was tingling, every nerve and cell felt stimulated. He melted into Dean's touch, no longer able to push into him, he felt like he had no control over his body, like his spine had melted away. Dean slowly pulled out, then thrust hard into him. Cas dug his nails into Dean's back and yelled out his name.

"Like that?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Feels good as hell. Mmm yeah, you love it don't you? Gettin' so damn tight.  _Fuck,_  I love it baby."

Cas opened his eyes, Dean's face was inches from his. He wanted to kiss his amazing lips but couldn't reach, Dean's eyes were closed tight, he was biting down on his lips hard. He felt Cas clench down on him and started grunting, pushing Cas down on him and thrusting into him as hard as he could. He felt Cas curl his fingers through his hair and jerk his hear forward. His eyes flew open, he was staring into Cas's deep blue pupil blown eyes and Cas was kissing him with more passion than he had ever been kissed before. Dean groaned and closed his eyes, loving Cas taking over and being more forceful.

"Shit Cas...ohhh fuck."

"Dean..." Cas screamed out his name. Dean put his hands back on his hips and thrust as hard as he could, pulling and pushing Cas into each thrust. "H..hard."

"Harder?"

Cas groaned and nodded. Dean used all of his strength to pound into him, Cas was yelling, moaning loud and panting hard. He could feel Dean's muscles flexing, it was so damn hot, he reached down and grabbed his ass, digging his fingers into his firm muscles.

"Son of fucking  _bitch_...uhh fuck...mmm  _shit._.." Dean was grunting and swearing. Cas slid a hand up his back, he pushed Dean's head closer and they made out sloppily, moaning and panting against each other's mouth.

Cas felt Dean's grip on his cock tighten, between that and Dean's hands and lips on him, and his cock slamming into his prostate he felt like he was going to explode. He was hot, his body was shaking hard, he couldn't stop panting or moaning.

Dean felt his spine tingling, he knew he was about to come, he thrust into Cas hard. Cas screamed out and started coming.

"Mmm yeah...fuck Cas...how's it feel?"

"Dean! Oh FUCK. Mmm fuck... _fuck_..."

Dean smiled, Cas never swore like that, it was so damn hot. He moved a hand off of his hip and pinched his nipple, leaning down and sucking down on the other one. Cas grunted and curled his fingers tightly into Dean's hair. He moaned and pushed into Dean hard, rocking his hips faster. He was so tight around Dean's cock, Dean could barely move. He circled his hips until he could and thrust hard, coming harder than he ever had.

Dean bit down on Cas's nipple, he was climaxing hard. Cas tightened his grip on Dean's hair and pulled his head up. Dean groaned, his eyes hooded as he started into Cas's. They went in at the same time, crushing their lips to each other's. Dean thrust until he felt Cas stop shaking. He pulled back, panting hard. Cas moved his legs from around Dean's waist and stood up, his legs felt shaky and he almost lost his balance. Dean pulled him up and kissed him. Cas's arms and legs felt like jello, Dean carefully laid him back, putting an arm behind his head and one under his waist. Cas tensed up, Dean kissed him softly on the lips.

"Relax...do you trust me?"

Cas nodded. "Of course I do..."

"Close your eyes and take a deep breath."

Cas closed his eyes and took several deep breaths.

"Keep 'em closed, just don't think about anything. Relax your muscles."

Cas gradually relaxed, Dean kept his arms under Cas and leaned down, softly kissing his lips. Cas opened his eyes, Dean smiled and worked his way down Cas's chest.

"Don't try to sit up, just lay back...ok?"

Cas nodded, relaxing as he floated. Dean moved his arms and started running them down Cas's body. Cas closed his eyes and moaned softly, Dean's lips were working down his body, his hands lightly caressing him, making his entire body tingle. It felt so amazing, Cas relaxed and closed his eyes.

Dean looked down and gasped. "Cas...your wings."

Cas looked up. "What's wrong with my-" Cas froze and looked up at Dean, squinting. "You can see them?"

Dean nodded. They were so big and beautiful. They looked different than when Dean had seen them before, he couldn't take his eyes off of them.

"Humans can't see them, are you seeing a shadow?"

"No, not like before. They don't look black, they look white and I can see the feathers. Can you feel this?"

Dean reached out and gently stoked his wing. Cas gasped, no one had ever touched them before, it felt amazing but he still couldn't figure out why Dean could see them.

Dean pulled his hand back as Cas stood up. His wings folded back in and he looked up at Dean.

"Is it because they're wet?"

Cas shook his head. "No, you would have seen them before now."

"Maybe having sex with an angel makes me special."

Cas knew it had something to do with it, it was forbidden for angels to have sex with humans. Not that he cared, or that anyone cared about the rules anymore. He honestly could not concentrate on anything because he just wanted to have sex with Dean again. 

"Do I get to see them again?"

"Do we get to...have sex again?"

"What do you think?"

"I think...I think I don't want to do anything else ever again."

Dean smiled and pulled Cas close, kissing him for several minutes. "I  _know_  I don't ever want anything else."

Dean took Cas's hand and pulled him back onto the shore.

Cas wondered if Dean wanted to go have sex somewhere else. "Where do you want to go now?"

Dean looked at Cas, he didn't care where they went. He wanted to just go back home and spend the rest of the night having sex. "Doesn't matter. Just take me back to the bunker."

Cas's face fell, thinking Dean wanted him to take him back and he'd have to leave. "Oh."

Dean ran his hand across Cas's face. He smirked and put his finger under his chin, shoving it up so Cas would look at him. "What, is having sex on my bed beneath you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know, not good enough? Gotta be in some crazy place?"

"You....you still want to..."

"What did you think, that I meant I want to go there without you? Shit, I wish you'd stay with me."

"You want me to stay with you tonight?"

"Not just tonight...don't want you to ever leave."

Cas leaned in and kissed Dean, wondering if he meant it. He looked up and squinted his eyes. "Really?"

"Cas, I don't say things I don't mean. Not about things like this....I mean, if you have angel stuff to do, I get it. I guess it would be boring for you to stay when I'm asleep."

"Dean...I-"

Cas sat up and started getting dressed. He pulled his pants on and reached for his shirt. Dean put his hand over Cas's to stop him.

"Wait, what were you going to say?"

"Nothing."

"You were going to say something."

"I...I, um, don't have angel stuff to do. Not anymore."

"What do you do then? I mean, when you're not with me."

Cas blushed and looked down. Not sure how Dean would react, or if he would take it the wrong way. "Watch over you."

Dean felt his heart race faster. Wondering if Cas really spent all of his time watching over him. "What do you mean, watch over?"

"I...make sure you're safe."

"So how often...you mean, like you're always around, but like, invisible?"

"If you're thinking I was spying....I check in on you throughout the day. And...at night I...stay until you wake up."

Dean was shocked, and touched that Cas cared that much. He wondered why he didn't just appear when he was around. "Why? I mean, why not just...stay with me, tell me you're there?"

Cas shrugged. "I didn't know if you wanted me there."

"Cas..." Dean pulled Cas close and kissed him. "I always want you around. I never want you to leave me again."

Dean pushed Cas back and laid over him, kissing him as he started grinding into him. Cas put a finger on Dean's head and they were instantly at the bunker, on Dean's bed. Dean looked up and grinned.

"So, what do you want to do, angel?"

Cas sighed. "Dean, stop making me say-"

"I meant, want me to fuck you, or do you want a turn?"

Cas licked his lips and in his serious tone said, "Both. I want you to...bend me over...then, um, ride me."

Dean laughed, wondering where Cas heard that. "You get that from reading my mind earlier?"

Cas blushed. Dean kissed him and smirked. "I don't care. So, did you see what I want you to do to me?"

Cas felt his face burning and nodded.

"You going to do it? You know how bad I want you to."

Cas took a deep breath, Dean leaned in to kiss him and closed his eyes. He felt Cas push down hard on his chest, he opened his eyes in surprise and grinned as Cas straddled his hips.

"Might have to have you read my mind more often. Fuck that's hot."

"Shut up, unless I tell you you can say something."

Dean grinned as Cas leaned in a kissed him roughly. He was definitely going to let Cas read his mind if he was going to carry out every fantasy he'd ever had. His mind was already coming up with endless possibilities of what they would be doing once Cas was done riding him then fucked him.


End file.
